The isolation, not just the love of silence, is a psychological dilemma. It quietly erodes people, destroys relationships and plunges people into a cycle of loneliness。
There must be someone like you around, or you're in deep shit. Their appearances are calm, but their hearts rise and fall, they live and suffer。
This is not something that can be solved by a “opener point”, and the problem is far more complex than expected。
Today we go deep into the inner world of the isolated, tearing down three typical manifestations and telling you what to do。
01: love to be alone and not to communicate
Often, isolated people do not choose to be alone, but are driven into isolation by fear。
They hide because they are afraid of being hurt, because they are afraid of being rejected, and because they are afraid of being left alone。
Other people party, they're in the corner, they're laughing, they're silent. Each time, a higher wall was built around itself。
It's been a long time, nobody's coming, and they can't get out。
But in the end, human beings are social animals, without communication, without emotional bond, and without it, life loses its temperature。
You see, the more you hide, the less you speak, the more you become marginalized. To break this cycle, we must start with small things。
Try to take the initiative to say hello every day and get involved in a chat, even one or two sentences。
With more contact, less fear and more confidence。
Remember, the world is not as dangerous as you think, and you're not as vulnerable as you think。
02: easy to suspect, lack of trust in others
Doubt is a way for the isolated to protect themselves, but it is also their deepest sword。
They always think that there's talk, there's a smile, there's a knife, there's even one eye that can read evil。
Colleagues were kind enough to help, and they suspected of being ulterior; friends cautioned that they thought they were ashamed of themselves。
This “victim mentality” has kept them alive and put pressure on others。
Trust, not blindly believing in everyone, but knowing that most people don't have time for you。
It's always suspicion, it's exhausting its energy, it's destroying its opportunities。
If you want to change, you realize that many of your guessworks are just a projection of internal insecurity。
Trying to look at the behaviour of others objectively, giving positive psychological hints to himself — “he may simply say” — “maybe he was trying to help me”。
When you start to choose to believe, the world will become friendly to you。
03: emotional volatility, difficult to control
The more silent you look, the more hard you are. The isolated are often the ones with a heavy emotional backlog。
They do not speak well, and all grievances, frustrations and angers go to heart until a moment of total explosion。
A small thing, a heartless word, could be a trigger。
After the outbreak, there was a long period of self-regulating and underestimating, and then continued to depress, waiting for the next outbreak。
Emotions are not used to suppress, but are managed。
You have to learn to recognize it, accept it, release it。
Journals, walks, deep breaths, even when speaking to mirrors, are a mode of guidance。
Don't let emotions manipulate you, you have to learn to be its master。
Emotions are stable, life is stable and interpersonal relations are not repeatedly deadlocked。
I'm sorry
Being isolated is not a defect, but a habit. Customary, can be changed。
You don't have to be a socialist overnight, but you have to get started。
One small step forward, one step forward, one confidence and one release every day. Loneliness may have protected you, but it cannot make you。
The real warmth comes from your real collision with the world. May you start today, slowly opening yourself up and moving towards the crowd。
It's a hard road, but you deserve it。
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