Now that young people are married, who doesn't want a ritual wedding? A beautiful wedding picture, a dream-making scene, a romantic process, just thinking about it. Indeed, when preparations were made, a lot of people were thrown into cold water: thousands of times at a wedding party, tens of thousands at a table and tens of thousands at a bar, plus pictures of the wedding dress, wedding ceremonies, the four kings, a wedding that cost six months or even a year's wages, and ended up with half a life。
“for those hours of rituals, three months before and after, every day after work, sleeps on the wedding day, on the wedding dress, on the guest list, and then falls to the bottom of the bed”, “the hosts who spend a lot of money, all the lines are on the internet, their relatives and friends are bored, and they are embarrassed” and “they wanted to have an unforgettable wedding, which ended with only an overpayment bill”. In fact, a lot of people don't see it well, behind thousands of tables of wedding feasts, there are a couple of zealous truths, the so-called “ceremonial sense”, which may be their own wish。
Truth i: the rituals are cumbersome to collapse, and the newcomers are like “wire puppets”
The wedding process is becoming increasingly complex, from hand-in-hand, to tea to tea, to rings, champagne towers, cake cut, to table-to-desk toast, interactive games, a process that is at least three hours down, new people are scheduled to enjoy their wedding without having a chance。
It's common for the groom to be coated with lipstick and push-ups, and the bride to stand in high heels for half a day and her feet torn apart; the tea chain to carry all sorts of good words, and to say a little bit wrong, it's so much more twitching; the table-to-desk to drink is all the more tiring, and dozens of the guests must touch a cup and be persuaded to drink when they can, and the bride of the bride to drink his head and then to eat hot meals。
Even more embarrassing is the fact that many of the processes are modelled by the marriage celebration company and do not care what new people feel. Inflamming parent messages, for example, are directed by the facilitators, even though they do not want to cry, and interactive games, where relatives and friends are not interested in participating, where newcomers are forced to work together, are awkward. When a wedding comes down, the new man is either on the run, or on the run, he's tired of just trying to get it over with。
Truth ii: you've prepared your rituals. Few people in the audience care
The ritualism that the newcomers have built at great cost may be simply a “walk through” in the eyes of their relatives and friends, and few really care. You come out in thousands or even thousands of wedding dresses, looking forward to the surprise of your friends and relatives, and most people turn their heads down and play mobile phones, or they don't know who they are; you have carefully chosen background music, you cut love vcrs for days, and few people listen and watch carefully, and you're more concerned about “when and when” “the food is good。
When a friend gets married and turns into a wedding video, he finds himself exchanging rings, half of the people below the stage pack their food, and someone calls the waiter for drinks; when parents choke on their messages, relatives and friends in the back row are whispering, and even people leave to smoke. Even more so, a few days after the wedding, relatives and friends forgot all the details, remember, "the food is good" or "the food is too bad," and you've been through countless nights of rituals, and you've been left behind。
In fact, you come to the wedding more to give a blessing and make a scene, and no one, like you, cares whether the process is perfect and well-designed. You spend tens of thousands of dollars on crystal ceilings and flowers, which may be no different from ordinary decorations, and you carry your vows for a long time, and others listen and forget. Most of the so-called “ceremonial sense” is the self-momentation of the newcomers, who simply don't buy。
Iii. Truth iii: thousands of tables of wedding dinners are worth nothing
Many newcomers feel that the more expensive the wedding feast, the more dignified it is, the more they are, the more they've got thousands of high-priced tables, and the less they actually experience it. There is an open secret in the industry: the cost of the meal is usually only 30-40% of the total cost, thousands of tables of the feast, and the cost of the food is actually small. The rest of the money is spent on the costs of the house, services, wedding bundling and hotel profits。
The food for the high-priced feast appears to be excellent, but it is of low value and taste. Most of those seemingly high-end foods are heated in semi-finished products, with a much lower taste than usual; ordinary foods are also made in bulk, the fire is low and the taste is low, and many relatives and friends drop their chopsticks. What is even more wasteful is the fact that a large table of food ends up emptying, and watching its own blood and blood wasted, let alone suffocating。
In addition to the banquets, wedding photography and wedding ceremonies have cost a lot of money. A set of wedding dresses was made in thousands, with hundreds of fine photographs taken, but all but a few of them hanging on the wall were pressed under the box; the flowers and props of the wedding ceremony were put on one-off, and they were thrown out as garbage at the end of the wedding, and tens of thousands of dollars were spent on it, in exchange for hours of observation。
Iv. Truth iv: after the wedding, there is only a tired and confused “human debt”
For a wedding, not only is he tired, but he's more tired. In preparation for the wedding ceremony, the hotel, the dress shop, as well as the listing of guests, the arrangement of seats, the purchase of all kinds of wedding supplies, there is a daily rush and the stress is so great that it can't sleep; on the day of the wedding, the dress must be changed, the whole process must be tense, and all kinds of emergencies must be dealt with。
At the end of the wedding, the newcomers were faced with a lot of “crashes”: cleaning up the wedding supplies, disposing of the rest of the alcohol and tobacco, paying their relatives and friends back, and accounting for the bills. What is even more troubling is the incoherent “human debt”, the amount of money collected at a wedding, the amount of money that will be written down, the amount of money that will be paid back in the future, the amount of money that will be paid in the future, and the amount of money that will be paid in the future, which is not a true “good luck”。
The new man said that after the wedding, he and his partner spent two days asleep at home and woke up and watched the bill filled with regret: “if i had known that i would have been so tired and so expensive, i would have done so simply and even traveled directly to get married, and would not have to suffer”. Indeed, the wedding was supposed to be the beginning of happiness, but it is now a “sweet burden” that is exhausting many newcomers。
V. “sensitization guide” for weddings: don't overdo future happiness for the sake of face
In fact, the essence of the wedding is to witness love, to reap the blessings, and there is no need to let yourself get tired and under economic pressure for what is called a “ceremonial sense” and face. It is true to share with you a few sober ideas for a wedding that are neither dignified nor dishonourable, that you can suffer less, that you can spend less, and that you can enjoy your life:
1. Simplified processes: only the core elements are left and the rest are cut off
There is no need to replicate the complex process of templateing and to keep the core of what you care about, such as exchange rings, simple parenting messages, the rest of the jamming games, the downing of champagne towers, and the cutting off of the interaction. The simpler the process, the easier the newcomers, the more time for friendly and friendly communication, the more meaningful。
Control size: invite core family and friends, reject the “single numbers”
Don't invite a bunch of less familiar colleagues and friends for the purpose of “stand-up” and invite only parents and close friends to keep the number of tables within a dozen tables. Small-scale weddings are more pleasant, reducing the cost of dinners and avoiding debt, and new people do not have to drink to the table and enjoy their own weddings。
3. Rational consumption: not blindly pursuing higher prices, best value for money province
Instead of ordering thousands of tables, the option-priced package is sufficient, focusing on the weight and taste of the food, rather than on the yard; the dress can be rented without the need to buy it; the price of renting a high-end dress is only one tenth of what is bought, and the price is extremely high; wedding arrangements can be simpler, with fake flowers replaced with real flowers and less disposable devices, saving money and reducing waste。
4. Returning to the essence: happiness is more important than scheduling, how to feel comfortable
If you do not want to have a traditional wedding, you can choose to travel for marriage, a small reception, or even a wedding without a certificate, as long as two people are happy. The form of the wedding has never been important. What matters is each other's heart and future life. The money saved is more valuable than the money spent on a one-time wedding when it is spent on honeymoon trips, the purchase of property and the construction of small families。
Summarizing: the wedding is the beginning, not the end. Don't let the ritual kidnap happiness
The feeling of pursuing the ceremony itself is correct, but there is no need to be kidnapped by the idea of “must do it”. Behind thousands of tables of wedding feasts are the cumbersome rituals, unsuspecting audience, worthless spending, and physically and mentally exhausted truths, many of which are “smuggle-faced fatty” and needless。
Marriages are only the beginning of marriage, and true happiness is never determined by a big wedding, but by the tolerance and joint management of the two persons who are married. Rather than spending a lot of money and effort on a heavy wedding, it would be better to spend money and energy in a more meaningful place where marriage begins with ease and happiness。
It is to be hoped that every new person who is ready to marry will be able to see the truth, not be blindly compared, not be abducted by rituals, and have a wedding that really suits himself and makes himself happy, rather than a “perfect wedding in the eyes of others”。
In conclusion, i would like to ask you: "what kind of wedding have you been to?" if you were married, would you choose a big, traditional wedding or a simple little wedding/travel wedding? Welcome to the comment section, so that more people can see the truth about the wedding
Disclaimer
The present paper is based on public and real-life observations of the wedding industry and presents a view of the individual and does not constitute a mandatory recommendation. The form of marriage, the criteria for spending, etc., are determined by the new person, taking into account his or her economic situation and the individual's will, to plan consumption rationally and avoid economic pressure or disputes over life caused by blind comparison。
