When the kid lifts up his sleeve and points to the pattern on the screen and says, "i'm going to tattoo this, it's really cool," you might have a little bit of a tick. But you're holding down the fire, knowing that a "no" would push him even further。
What you need is not a restraining order, but a sobering guide to help him "see how cool." with regard to the advantages and disadvantages of tattoos, it was actually an adult courtesy dialogue on options and costs. You can start talking to him at these levels。
First floor: take off the "cool" skin and see through the social wind
The child's “cool” is often just a “show”. You can drop the judgment and ask, "where do you think it attracts you most?" is it the pattern itself, or is it because anyone has it?"
It helps him distinguish between a true love of tattoo art and a trade for a circle of body pain. You can tell him:
“cool is not like a collection of stamps that piles up popular elements. The real cool thing is that you know better than anyone what you want, not run with someone else. If the wind changes after a few months, is it cool that you're going to spend the rest of your life together?"
Second floor: talk about the "half-life" of skin, visualizing hidden costs
Children are easily overwhelmed by the passion of the moment and do not see the long term of the “half-life”. Don't forget to "regrets in the future" and help him see the consequences:
Ask him about his dreams. If he wants to take a job in the future, join the army, become a pilot or enter a large company, there are clear restrictions on tattoos at present, as can be seen from the clean-up record. It is not unfair, but a realistic rule of society. An 18-year-old who paid the price for coolness could have closed a door by himself at 28。
An aesthetic depreciation rate: take a picture of your youth, tell me about the current fashion. “it is felt that today it is necessary that 10 years from now it may look like an out-of-date loudspeaker. Clothes can be thrown, but the deformed pattern on the skin is irreversible.”
The body's honest response: emphasize that it's not "painted." injection of needles into the actual cortex, long periods of red and edema recovery, possible excretional allergies, and even the risk of infectious diseases from irregular shops. And the first to pay for it is a piece of skin to suffer。
Third tier: replace “out of control” with “controllable options”
The end of communication is not to force him to surrender, but to help him build a mature decision-making model. You can give him a compromise to learn to "delayed satisfaction":
Set a period of mental static: "if you choose a pattern that you still like after a year, we'll discuss it formally." most impulses cool in time. "fake tattoos" is wrong: let him paint the most visible place on his body with hena or sticker, looking and asking himself every day: "if it ever does, can i accept?" give him the body to decide, but attach responsibility: "the body is your own, but it is your responsibility to love. If you want a tattoo after the age of 18, find yourself a regular professional store and pay for it with your own money. When you have to pay for your decision, you will really weigh the benefits." finally, don't forget the warm ending
You can end the conversation like this:
"it's not your skin that mom and dad want to protect, it's your future choice. We are afraid that at your most impulsive age you have made a decision to limit your future. So, we need to wait and see for that more mature of you to stamp you now."
The core of this communication is not to win the child, but to win the child — to make him feel respected and to begin to learn, like adults, to calculate the complex between aesthetics, health and the future。
