"oh, my child is such an introvert, compared to other children, a small tortoise!" have you ever done that? Don't rush to label a child as social phobia. The psychological reasons behind it may be much more complicated than you think, and even a little more dramatic
Introverted social disorder
The first reaction of many parents when they see a child who does not speak and does not speak to others on his own initiative is “introvert”, “smuggling”, or even “problem”. In fact, internal orientation is only a manifestation of character and does not mean that the child is mentally handicapped. You know what? Introverted children, often thinkers, have far more children in their heads than outwards
The inner child's psychological world: the deeply hidden small universe
Introverted children usually prefer quiet environments and be alone, not off-groups, but “brain recharge”. They may be watching, thinking, even imagining a movie of their own superheroes. Don't underestimate the quiet. That's what they're doing。
Parents' expectations become a catalyst for children's "introverted"
Have you noticed that sometimes the more children are pushed to “talk more” and to “go more” the more silent they are? It's like you made me go to a party i don't like, and it's called resistance. The same applies to children, whose high expectations and excessive intervention may put them under stress and prefer to “shut up” to protect themselves。
Behind the inside, there's probably a little psychological secret
Children with a lack of security in a growing environment, such as a tense family environment or frequent parental quarrels, choose to retreat, with their inner orientation as a self-protection tactic. The lack of self-awareness among some children is due to the fact that they have not yet found their “social switch” and are not sure what to say is appropriate, afraid of being ridiculed or rejected. Sensitivity is more sensitive to the outside world and the noisy environment makes them uncomfortable, so they prefer to hide in the corner rather than focus. Lack of social skills training some children do not want to socialize but do not know how to socialize. Without proper guidance and practice, internal orientation becomes their “default mode”。
How do you get the kids out of the inner shell
Respect for the children's rhythm requires that they not be forced to speak, that they be given more time and space, and that they take their time. After all, growth is not running, but marathons. Creating a safe environment allows children to feel their homes are the warmest harbour, less quarrels, more encouragement, more relaxing. Opening social doors with games and interests is the best social bridge. Children are allowed to participate in activities they like, such as drawings, musical instruments, scientific experiments, so that they can make friends naturally in an easy environment. Teaching children simple social skills such as how to say hello, how to express themselves as they like or do not like, and developing their social confidence. Parents act as role models, and social pleasure children are their parents' little shadows, you love to communicate, and children learn to love。
Concluding remarks: introverted, actually a child's "superpower"
Stop treating “introverts” as burdens or shortcomings. Introverted children may be future philosophers, scientists, artists. Their world is rich and deep, but in a different way than you think. Learn to appreciate children's inner orientation and give them space to breathe freely so that they can truly witness their flashing moments。
