At the end of the year, when we met, we had family visits, the most disturbing question came: "how much money is saved this year?"
Don't think it's a concern. It's mostly a "deeping" routine。
Once you say the amount of the deposit, it is likely that it will become someone else's “emergency fund”. Many of the lending disputes between relatives have resulted from inadvertent disclosure of deposits. You think that the best of kin is vulnerable to money。
I. Two deep pits where the deposits are disclosed
It's easy to borrow money
You said you saved $200,000, and there's gonna be 100,000; there's half a million, or even 300,000。
In these people's eyes, you've got money that means you can't spend it. Borrowing money from you, they even think it's “you” and don't consider your financial plans at all。
Deep pit 2: agitated jealousy, morally abducted
Even worse, when those around you find you to have more money than he does, there are few truly envious people who tend to breed jealousy and destruction。
Their mentality is true: “you can live well, but you can't be much better than me”: “you can save money, you can't save much more”. Once your savings go beyond their psychological balance line, you will be morally kidnapped: “all relatives and friends, who do you want to help?”
But they never cared how much you spent late in the night and how long you saved. All they care about is how much money you've got。
Two, three rules on confidentiality of deposits, to be followed
So, the deposit must be kept secret! Share three super-workable laws to help you deal with the questions in a decent manner, without harm or embarrassment:
Rule 1: fuzzy response and direct lowering of expectations
There's no need for too much explanation. Just a simple one. For example, “just enough to make a living, and there's not much left to pay and rent”: “if there's no money, there's no mistake if there's enough to spend the day”。
The vagueness of the expression can directly extinguish each other's desire to ask questions, so that he knows that you “have no oil to buy”, and naturally there will be no further scrutiny。
Rule 2: use the money as a shield and refuse with dignity
If the other party does not, the “funds are locked” are used as a justification. For example: “all the money is bought and the money is locked to death and it cannot be taken out” “all the time is saved, and the interest is lost in advance, which is uneconomical”。
This is an objective and irrefutable argument that can be rejected with dignity and can lead to total rejection。
Rule 3: unswerving refusal, screening of true people
If the other party directly lends money, it makes it clear: “this money is too much for me to have to buy a house/patient/emergency”。
If you don't borrow money, you'll be ashamed。
Iii. Keeping the deposit secret is adult intelligence
It's simple: people who really do you good will never force you to reveal your financial privacy; but whoever comes after you to save your savings has their own little calculations in mind。
Remember: human nature cannot stand the test of money, which is the most visible. Your savings should rot in your stomach. This is not selfish, but mature adults and the best way to protect themselves。
Were you asked for a deposit when you left your relatives in new year's? How did you deal with it? Is there a better way to use the shield? Let's share your experience
