"what is the experience of having a friend of high emotional value?" "the importance of emotional value" "how to provide emotional value correctly" in recent years, emotional values have become a topical issue. What is emotional value from a psychological perspective? The answer was given by ph. D. In applied psychology and secondary psychologist liao chunqing。
Emotional values are contagious, resonant
The theory of emotional infection in psychology is the basis for understanding emotional values. – people’s emotions do not exist in isolation. They are unwittingly transmitted to others through “non-verbal signals” or “spoken content” such as facial expressions, tone, body language, etc., which trigger similar emotional reactions。
In its view, the essence of emotional values is the active transmission of positive emotions (e. G. Warmth, comfort, pleasure, etc.) and the promotion of positive experiences and the mitigation of negative feelings through emotional resonance。
For example, when friends share the joy of a promotion, you say, not simply, "it's good," but you say, "i'm so happy for you! You've worked so hard all night to change." such a response would make the other side's joy stronger, as he felt his efforts were seen and his emotions acknowledged。
Meeting three basic psychological needs
Liao chun-chung suggests that according to the classic psychological framework such as maslow’s theory of the level of demand and attachment, the central role of emotional values is to meet the three basic psychological needs of people in emotional interaction - - the satisfaction of these needs directly affects the individual's sense of psychological security and self-worth。
First, make the other side feel understood and seen. When things don't rush to give advice, first, “reciprocate” — say, “today is a long day”, you say, “does it sound like you've spent so much today that you haven't stopped?” (recognizing emotions), then you ask, “do you need me to talk to you or leave you quiet?” (support)。
Second, give each other a sense of psychological security. When the other side reveals its vulnerability (e. G., admitting that it made a mistake, expressing fear), it does not blame, it does not deny, but rather sends a signal that “i stand with you”。
Finally, it makes each other feel that they deserve to be loved and recognized. Focusing on the “specific acts” of the other party, not general exaggerations. For example, instead of saying, “you're so good”, you say, “you've been able to listen patiently to his concerns before you respond to them when you've just spoken to your client, a communication that i particularly admire”。
“community” rather than “compassion”
Liao chun-chung claimed that many people mistakenly thought that “the provision of emotional value is a pleasure”, but from a psychological point of view, the true emotional value depends on the ability to “complement” rather than on the distinction of “compassion” — which directly determines the “effectiveness” of emotional value。
Compassion is the expression of “pity or compassion” for what happened to the other, which is essentially “i understand your pain, but i am not in the same mood as you”; and solidarity is the expression of a “person's perspective”, which feels the other's feelings, which is essentially “i face it with you, and i understand that your suffering is reasonable”。
Psychological studies have shown that mutuality is a “core carrier” of emotional values — only if there is a common ground, then the consolation and support will be accepted by the other party; if there is a lack of mutuality, then the “right” rationale or suggestion becomes the “stand-up pain”。
Emotional values are not "unilateral giving."
Liao chun-chung reminds us that from the point of view of relationship psychology, emotional values are not “unilateral giving”, but “bilateral psychological nurturing” - in healthy relationships, both sides gain emotional values from interaction and form “positive cycles”。
When emotional support is provided, psychological stress is reduced and self-regulating is enhanced (e. G. By being comforted in anxiety, able to heal quickly and get back to work); at the same time, feeling loved and supported strengthens trust in relationships and enhances overall happiness。
The delivery of roses, the retention of fragrances, and the “self-worth” in the transmission of emotional values. When you help a friend out of the valley, you think, "i can help him, i'm worth it; at the same time, positive interaction will in turn feed your emotions, like sharing the joy of the other."。
Conversely, if a relationship consists only of “unilateral emotional giving” — such as one party — which perpetuates and suffers from the negative sentiments of the other side without any response — it creates “emotional depletion”, which is one of the core causes of many intimacy and the breakdown of friendship。
In short, the emotional value of a psychological perspective is the ability to “see emotions, embrace emotions, nurture relationships”. It is not a “pity” or a “disguised positive”, but rather is based on respect for “human emotional needs”, which helps each other (also for themselves) to “mentalize” in their emotional interactions through mutual affection, understanding and support. (reporter, guo yung wei, intern reporter, kusumi)
