No big ip, no topline, no zero bombing, but the real pain of millions of chinese girls
There's a chinese myth that only girls can get along: adults over the age of 18 are unable to make decisions about their bodies。
Gynaecology minor surgery, routine physical examination, basic physical therapy, simply because they never had sex, are institutionalized, older and bound by secular bias, and must wait for the “signature permit” of the family。
This is not a fictional script. It's an ordinary chinese woman who's going through a real life。
In recent years, domestic women's work has finally come out of the clichés of “loaning in pain” and “loaning in love” and dared to face up to women's physical autonomy, conflicts between mother and daughter borders, lack of sex education, traditional marital chains, and so forth。
One of them, focusing on the reality of mother-child rivalry, physical sovereignty, female self-awakening, is the invisible cage that has been trapped in a woman's lifetime with a tiny cut in her life, which has become the voice of women in countless audiences。
It did not make a dramatic story, but it gave every girl a red eye: for all that was with me, and all that was bounds, was seen。
One of the most ridiculous realities: i'm an adult and i have no right to decide my body
At the heart of the story is a dilemma that countless girls are familiar with。
A 25-year-old young girl living alone is a good, independent, working girl who lives on her own in the city. She found the uterus, and it took only a few minutes of routine minor surgery to deal with the pain。
She travels through hospitals, but she is caught in the death of a ridiculous rule: some of the scenes require the signature of the immediate family to perform gynaecological-related surgery and examinations。
An adult who is mentally mature and has full civil capacity is ill and wants to heal but cannot sign for his body。
"my own body, why can't i decide?"
The simple question is, the chinese women have been the biggest shackles since they were young. From childhood, we were disciplined, restrained, labelled as “girls need to hold, love themselves and leave room for marriage”, and our bodies did not belong to ourselves, as if life required “authorization”。
When the girl was in a difficult situation as a result of the operation, her mother suddenly broke into her life alone。
Mothers who are trapped in the triviality of marriage, traditional attitudes, have strong control over themselves: they do not have permission to clean their daughter's room, interfere with their daughter's life habits, judge their life choices, and fill all the gaps between their mothers and girls with the phrase “i am for your own good”。
The mother and daughter were forced to live together and the conflict broke out。
Daughters want independence, borders, physical and life autonomy; mothers adhere to traditional beliefs and use their lifetime experience to kidnap daughters ' choices. In the face of her daughter's surgical problems, the mother's sentence struck all the girls with a suffocation:
"do you want to get married first?"
Marriage, as if it were the only key for women to unlock their autonomy。
A two-way game of physical boundaries, intergenerational conflicts, secular prejudices and self-awakening was launched。
Don't sell, don't fantasize! Under the shell of a light comedy, there's the worst reality
Unlike the depression of most women's work, it chooses to break down the heavy female dilemma with a light, subtle comedy technique。
There was no dog-blooded conflict, no salvation from the lord, and no happy end. Only the most real mothers and daughters are in daily life: quarrels, confrontations, lack of understanding, mutual pains, and, in living together, slowly seeing each other's feelings。
From an early age, the woman ran away from her mother's life。
Mothers are bound for half of their lives by traditional marriages, patriarchal attitudes, self-pression, self-sacrifice, life for family, husband and child, and have never lived for themselves。
In order to avoid the fate of the mother, the hostess had to study hard, try to be independent, stay away from home and live alone. She thought she was already free of the shackles, but did not realize that the shackles of her body, the secular bias, had never really left young women。
Most movingly, the story has not shaped a perfect “awakening hostess” nor an extremely odious mother。
Their daughters are sober and stubborn, dare to confront prejudice, dare to face their biological needs, dare to speak out for themselves, but also lose their minds, helplessness and collapse。
Mothers are powerful, borderless, ideologically entrenched, but her bigotry and stubbornness are the result of a lifetime of discipline and repression. She did not understand her daughter's independence, simply because she had never had the right to choose her own way in her life。
In a single confrontation and a combination, the mother and the daughter were able to redeem and grow in both directions。
Daughters slowly learn about the depression and regret of their mothers, who slowly put aside their inherent prejudices and learn about the independence and freedom of a new generation of women。
Break all taboos! These women's issues are finally being taken seriously
The most valuable value of this work is not to shy away, not to hunt for wonders, not to consume suffering, and to confront the real issues of women who have long been afraid to touch the country's films。
Breaking the shame of menstruation
The physical embarrassment of girls from childhood to age, the economic and social death of the school, and the secrecy of the general public about women's physicalities are all clearly revealed. The hostess, through her physical knowledge, has set up a sanitary towel box to break the shame transmitted from generation to generation。
Breaking the virgin relationship and cognitive error
Correcting the false perception of the secular millennium: abandoning the demonized stigma of the “virtual membrane”, confronting the biological nature of the vaginal petals and removing the moral shackles attached to the female body。
Face the normal physical and emotional needs of women
Women's physical needs and emotional aspirations are no longer regarded as shame, and they dare to express the normal demands of adults and break the stereotypes of “women must be free from want and restrain”。
Filling gaps in sex education at the national level
Faced with the general lack of physical education in the country's home and in schools, the correct biological knowledge is disseminated in a gentle and determined manner to heal the childhood deprivation of countless people。
In addition to this, the story goes into detail on such practical issues as gender bias in the workplace, emotional voids and self-defeating for older and middle-aged women, family border invasions, and women's rights struggles。
It does not have high-level preaching, but it shows the truth in a calm manner: many of the shackles that trap women are never physical, but rather secular prejudices, entrenched perceptions, and intergenerational constraints。
04 the most real contemporary female survival map
Why are there so many girls who have seen each other
Because the woman in the story is a microcosm of thousands of ordinary young women。
General education, ordinary work, living alone in large cities, working hard, loving life, saving money and moonlight, loving freedom, refusing to be free, not dependent on marriage, not dependent on others, just trying to control one's life。
She is not a big lady, she is not a dead woman. She is just an ordinary girl trying to get out of her grip, to wake herself up and to live her life。
And the dilemma she's experienced is the daily routine of countless girls:
(b) the tension caused by the first gynaecological examination
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(b) the impropriety of being defined by secular bias as “value”
To be independent, the dilemma remains of being bound by family and secularism。
The most dramatic reversal of the story is the exchange of roles between mothers and daughters。
The previously protected and regulated daughters began to learn to protect their mothers, defend their rights and free them from the shackles of marriage and secularism。
Mothers who have lived for their entire lives have finally learned to live for themselves by dropping their identity tags。
From “passive acceptance of other people's permission”, to “i permit myself”, this is the most precious awakening of modern women。
05 not perfect, but precious enough: the voice of a woman is itself a victory
Of course, it's not perfect。
The broad coverage of the topic has made part of the story a little hasty; the process of intergenerational awakening appears to be lighter and faster than the lengthy pull of reality。
But it is precisely this imperfection that makes it more real and precious。
While many works are still avoiding the plight of women and glorification of the gender shackles, they choose to confront reality, tear out the veil, and allow countless women to suffer in secrecy, silence, unseen struggles, for the first time in the public eye。
It tells every girl:
Your body, it was your decision
Your life doesn't require approval。
The so-called “licensing” has never been the consent of parents, the consent of civility, the consent of marriage, but the acceptance, tolerance and fulfilment of yourself。
Allow yourself imperfect, allow yourself not to be brave, allow yourself not to live in accordance with secular standards, and allow yourself to be free, warm and distasteful。
I wish you the rest of your life all you want to do is get your own permission。
Don't wait for permission. You're enough。
Have you ever lived without permission? Being bound by prejudice, being interfered with, being disciplined in a secular manner? Welcome to the comment section。
