In the late autumn of 1903, mr. Sun zhongshan gave a mini-present at honolulu, hawaii。
At the time of the diplomatic difficulties in the country, the chinese government and mr. Sun were in conflict with the reformist party, and the people were moving。
Sun zhongshan was standing at the podium, without a word and without eyes covering the audience, for only a dozen seconds, leaving the scene silent。
Although he has not yet spoken, he has been judged by the chinese gathered below: he is a remarkable man. That judgment comes from his eyes, etiquette and gas field。
After many years, the psychology community has come to a theory called the merabin code, which in fact validated mr. Sun's speech。
What is the merabin law
In 1971, american psychologist albert merabin proposed this famous communication law:
Language content affects only 7 per cent of people in communication, speaking 38 per cent, and body language (including expression, pose, sight, etc.) 55 per cent。
That is to say, we thought that we could move people by saying things well, but it was more important what one person gave others。
In reality, many people think they can maintain a good person's connection by inviting guests to dinner, giving gifts and sending red bags。
But it's not the material exchange that really moves people and builds long-term relationships, it's the signal you're sending from yourself。
Why do we like being with someone? Maybe he didn't give you anything to eat, but you felt comfortable, safe and respected。
That is the essence of the merabin code: human beings are first emotional animals and secondly rational animals。
Like dong woo fai, he is a teacher in the new east who sells products in the studios, except for the necessary nutrients
He's always whispering some of our well-known poems, and then in just a few minutes, the airtime sales reached tens of thousands。
But there were times when dong woo fai had misread the word “snake” in the fan of "reading nujoy redwood", which was supposed to be guān, and as a result he had read lún。
In another sentence, the word “haired” was read four times, and he did。
A lot of people online criticized dong woo-hui for saying that he was a “man-made roller” or something, but people in the studio still chose to forgive him。
Because he's giving his emotional value to the culture of being a teacher。
So, your words may be forgotten quickly, but the feelings you bring to others are engraved in memory, and people sometimes weigh these emotional values。
The best state of human relations is comforting
Between people, speech and communication skills are part of the equation, but more important is the perception of each other。
(a) the show "goodbye to lovers", "live a few hands" and "gayyen" appeared, and the screen was like crying
"too suffocated," "you've been here all these years," "you've been too far away," and from the beginning, the netizens broke the filter of a few hands。
Until the end, even if he doesn't say a word, he's sitting there, and he's making his friends sick。
How do you feel comfortable
By insisting on the merabin law, you make yourself feel good: talk with the temperature, respect and sincerity。
To do these three things, i'm sure you'll be able to apply the merabin code flexibly。
One, clean eyes. Most polite
Have you ever noticed that people who are really comfortable have clear eyes? No scrutiny, no impatience, no hypocrisy。
In shawshank's redemption, andy's a classic. He is silent, but his eyes are never eluded, and he is naturally trusted。
Two, smooth. Best communication
Many times, a good word, if it's not the right tone, sounds like a weirdo. The tone is the emotional coding of the attitude, and it is the smile and the sound lines that make it contagious。
Three. The body is natural. The strongest signal
Walking position, stretching position, extent of smile... These seemingly irrelevant little moves actually reflect you more than anything else。
The merabin law reminds us that the most important thing in interpersonal interaction is not to say anything, but to convey a personal trait different from others。
Real relationships, not by flattering, but by matching
Some say, “how many people do you know, but how many do you want to know?”
And when you have emotional stability, indignity, incorruptibility, incorruptibility, incorruptibility and incorruptibility, your human relations are smooth。
People respect you, they like you, they don't remember what you say, but they'll remember: with you, ta is comfortable。
So sun nakayama stood up at the honolulu stage and was silent until he spoke, which was a top level of psychological control. He reaps the hearts and minds of his eyes and gestures alone。
The code of human relationships is never complex, but is consistent, emotional and inner。
Stop eating and delivering gifts to maintain relationships. A truly long-term and effective way of socializing is to be a person of comfort, pleasure and strength。
