And the adolescent fell, and at the table, when it was wrong, he woke up, and when he was stuck to you yesterday, he locked himself in his room. Do these scenes make you feel bad and helpless? Don't panic, it's not that the child deliberately “touchs”, but the emotional switch in the brain is going through a dramatic “renovation”. The development of the frontal lobe of the adolescent brain lags behind the marginal system, like a motorcar without brakes, and it's easy to get out of control when it hits the gas. But smart parents don't fight hard with emotions, but rather use pairs to help their children build emotional safety nets。
The first move, the emotional translator: translate "i hate you" into "i need you." when the kid yells, "don't worry about me," you get down and say, "don't you feel bored now?" the study found that naming a child's emotions reduces almonds' nuclear activity, like a little stitching on a boiling pancap. And remember, less "why" and more observation: "did you throw your bag on the floor and fail the exam?" and more than "what's wrong with you," you can keep your kids safe。
The second move, the emotional money cans: has a positive experience every day. Neuroscience tells us that positive emotions absorb negative shocks like sponges. The children can be given the "three small pieces of luck" game: each person shares three happy events of the day before sleeping, even if it's the "second half price of milk tea today". After three months, a mother found that the frequency of a child's temper had dropped from five times a week to one. Remember, let's not always say “there's no reason to cry about this little thing”, but emotions are not big enough to be seen in order to slow down. The third move, the “cool point rehab project”, is to create an exclusive emotional shelter. A “emotional corner” is set up in the children's room, with depressive toys, favorite drawings and even allowed to be filled with iconic posters. When the child gets emotional, he is given a “cool card” that says his own method of recovery — like, “listen to three minutes of rock” or “ten pieces of lego”. The key is for the child to know that there is a way to get along with it. The last move, "family emotional thermometers" : a weekly replaying meeting. Prepare a thermometer sticker, each with a different colour to mark the mood fluctuations this week. When the child points to the orange area and says, "the math exam is ruined on wednesday," you can share your experience: "mom hid in the stairwell 10 times last week when she reported the error." this “dissemination of vulnerability” is more powerful than preaching to make children understand that emotional management is a lifelong subject, and we are all learning. Raising an adolescent child is like walking with a hedgehog, giving it both space and the temperature of the palm. When the child loses his temper, try saying the words in silence: "he's not against me, he's just being held hostage for a while." with these four tricks, you'll find that the young man who's in the dark is growing up to be an adult who can control his emotions。
