“not only are people beautiful, but also, and more important, they are good-looking and mature.” chen kai, a freshman at the university of transportation in washington, china, was idealized by the leading actress, “shen jia yi”, in the film “the girls we chased together”. When the images are seen in reality, there is a shen jiayi in chen kai's heart。
Zhang mingdu, in his first year of high school in beijing, said: “speaks with a girl, you don't have to fall in love.” after the job, zhang min-de was officially in love with his girlfriend in high school. Now he knows better than he did when he was 17: “i don't want to be perfect, and i'm happy as long as i'm good”
A thousand readers have a thousand hamlets, not only in drama, but also in different ways. Through the micro-searching of the key words “prostitution criteria”, “prostitution criteria”, dozens of topics can be retrieved, such as the “promoting criteria for contemporary young people”, the “promoting criteria for modern university students”, “does a native family influence the criteria for the selection of a spouse”. From nearly 90 per cent of the students interviewed supported the introduction of love classes in schools to the high level of university love classes, boys sat on windowsills to listen to lectures, and love and marriage had always been the subject of discussion。
In total, 1,296 valid questionnaires were collected from 283 institutions of higher education. Of the respondents to the questionnaire, 36. 03 per cent had never had a relationship, 34. 80 per cent had had a relationship, now was single, 24. 77 per cent were in love, and 3. 70 per cent were in the dark and 0. 7 per cent were in other situations. Of the currently single population, 21. 01 per cent wanted to fall in love, 24. 02 per cent did not want to fall in love, and 54. 97 per cent said that they were willing to meet the right person. Natural emotional needs (57. 89 per cent), those who encounter the heart (49. 25 per cent), those who feel that they are in a position to fall in love (27. 35 per cent), those who wish to be accompanied (26. 22 per cent) and those who see someone falling in love are the reasons why some of the students interviewed want to fall in love (26. 22 per cent); those who feel that at this stage are also single (35. 51 per cent), those who are focused on their studies (23. 68 per cent), those who do not meet the right person (2. 2. 43 per cent), etc., are the reasons why some of the students interviewed do not want to fall in love。
More than 90% of the students interviewed chose to value their personalities, and nearly 90% of them valued their character
Toshio, from beijing university of technology, said that there were no fixed criteria for preferring a person, and the choice of a spouse was often “ununderstood”. She's self-sensitized, she's always intuitive. The same is true for love, "because the sun comes after noon and sculpts the contours of the boy's back and feels like he's glowing."
The spouse who has also recently graduated has relatively clear criteria. “having to be 175 cm or above, medium-sized, with a stable income, family conditions are similar to those of themselves.” in her view, however, these “hard indicators”, which had once been set for herself, could be “soft” in the face of mutual affection. “the choice of a spouse is first to talk about feelings, which are better indicators of happiness than the choice of a spouse based on material conditions.” wang qi said。
According to the survey, 93. 44 per cent of respondents are interested in each other's personality when looking for a person in love or marriage; 89. 04 per cent are concerned about each other's personality, 59. 95 per cent are concerned about each other's responsibility; and the ambition and appearance follow closely, accounting for 54. 55 per cent and 54. 24 per cent, respectively. In addition, health, emotional stability, family background, educational qualifications, income, potential, mental capacity, occupation, geography, etc. Were the focus of the respondents。
“this finding is very relevant to reality, and is consistent with the simple judgment that the love we have had in our lives `started with five visions and finally three visions'.” duan also stressed that youth's attitude towards love, influenced by mainstream culture and dominant values, is positive and cautious, and that “unremovable, unconciliated and uncompromising” is an important feature of this generation of marriages. The survey found that 46. 76 per cent of respondents indicated that they would not adjust the criteria for the selection of a spouse and could slowly find or remain single; 34. 80 per cent of respondents would abandon their previous criteria for the selection of a spouse when they met someone who felt fit; and 14. 27 per cent believed that the criteria could be adjusted appropriately。
When she was 21 years old, wu had been in love, she felt that her choice of spouse was stabilizing and would give more thought to whether this intimate relationship could lead to progress and advancement. “three visions match, brain, character, character” is what she expects for the other half of the future. “if no one can be found, she can be found slowly”, and she is more willing to wait patiently for a person of good will than to adjust her choice。
Over 80 percent of the students interviewed wanted to grow up together in love
According to the results of the survey, 85. 65 per cent of the respondents felt that they needed two people to face the problems and difficulties of life together, 83. 64 per cent felt that they needed to promote and grow together to be better themselves; 79. 48 per cent felt that they needed to understand and be inclusive, 67. 90 per cent felt that they needed the same feelings and 54. 71 per cent felt that they needed the same or similar values. In the view of sing sing, highly mature university students are more inclined to plan their futures with their partners and value shared aspirations。
The u. U.’s old choice of a couple is more likely to be considered in the long term. "where does this person attract me, what can i learn from him? What does this intimacy bring me? Meanwhile, what can i bring to each other?" in her view, a good idea was “to look for the ideal for herself”。
In order to better avoid the problems that arise in a relationship, it is considered that “the ability to love one's own heart and the ability to love others is a compulsory course in love”. In her view, love is a learning process in which the maturity of feelings requires the development of one's own love in which one learns, reflects, adapts and grows。
What's a healthy view of love? The results of the survey showed that 77. 70 per cent of the respondents felt that they needed to love each other while also learning to love themselves; 71. 84 per cent said that they were not too dependent on each other to maintain an independent personality; 49. 77 per cent thought that they needed to respect differences, think more and understand; and 44. 91 per cent said that they were responsible for themselves and each other. The ability to face the difficulties together, the rational choice of the right partner, the non-blind pursuit of certain qualities, etc., is also considered useful by the respondents。
In doo-sun's view, love lies in quality rather than quantity, and human feelings cannot be squandered indefinitely. The ideal relationship is that when both parties are together, one or two effects are achieved。
In the face of shen jia yi, chen kei felt that a high standard of choice of a spouse would in part encourage him to move forward, “a good love would make me feel that i have the backing and the courage and motivation to fight”. But he believes that the criteria for choosing a spouse need not be too rigid, and that someone who really moves you can change your criteria for choosing a spouse. Even though i haven't been in love, chen kai has drawn up a "love story". He summed up the essence of love as “three of each other”, “understanding, respect and support”. A survey of middle-school youth media found that young people with chen kai were not in the minority, and 79. 48 per cent of those interviewed considered that understanding and inclusion were essential elements of emotional relations。
Looking forward to family, society, school and youth love viewing as escorts
In chen kei's view, the idea of love that is expressed and promoted by mass media, video and so on, is particularly important. “the influence of the mass media on the choice of a spouse is often reflected in the entrenchment of the idea of a young person choosing a spouse, with short videos and short, flat messages spread out, as if it were good and right only to meet the requirements of `love strategy' `love class'.”
Zhang mingyi shares the view that mass media dissemination and video productions have some influence on the way young people view their love. “the image of a perfect partner in some of the videos gives young people a higher expectation of choosing a spouse”. In zhang's view, “the fact that the film works are purified and well-dressed by men, and that the protagonists are either close relatives of the emperor or modern elites, especially those whose emotions are the main focus, are so few, more like “superhumans”, all of them on a 10-point basis, all of whom are on average more than eight points, makes it easier for young people to expect too much from their partners and may be difficult to accommodate the `unusual' of those around them in reality.”
Wang yi, who was studying at a university in hunan, was most envious of the way in which his family was holding hands, “parents divorced when i was a little girl, so i always wanted to have a good love.” because of the high expectations of love, wang yi is also very careful about choosing a spouse and has never been in love。
A survey of young middle-school media found that the reasons for the choice of spouse among the young people interviewed were more diverse. 73. 23 per cent of the respondents indicated that their family's influence stemmed from the potential migration; 49. 69 per cent from social consensus; 37. 04 per cent from their previous relationship experience; 34. 49 per cent from parents who suggested that they would at some stage make some choice of spouse; 19. 44 per cent from roles in cinemas, chorus shows, novels, etc., as reference; and 11. 11 per cent from respondents who included the qualities of their favorite star idol in the selection criteria。
According to sing, “the concept of love among university students is influenced first by visualism, media culture, classmates, roommates, etc., and secondly by socio-cultural penetration and influence, and more deeply by native families”
Wang yifee, who has never had a relationship experience, believes that he lacks experience and common sense of the relationship, and that there are many curves to follow if he does. In addition to his leisure time in university life, he went to the library to read books about love and to hear lectures about love at the school。
In wu’s view, the essence of love stems from self-exploration, which requires everyone to find their own answers. Societies, colleges and families should embrace and inspire students to explore and try love and develop their capacities for love。
According to the survey, 89. 43 per cent of the respondents were of the opinion that the first-born family should provide, as far as possible, healthy and rational love education; 75. 23 per cent were of the opinion that schools and society should provide more psychological counselling for relationships or emotional relationships; 74. 77 per cent were looking to schools for some love education; and 56. 87 per cent were of the view that the mass media, cultural and visual works, etc., should maintain healthy love orientation。
In order to help young people develop a healthy vision of the choice of the couple and of the love, it is important that the family, the school and society work together. First, the exemplary role of the family in the emotional development of children is indispensable, “children who grow up in warm, inclusive and open families are more in love and more in feeling love”. Second, by offering courses on the well-being of university students, love and affection, the higher education institutions have made them more aware of the social and sacred nature of love, “through activities such as school dramas, school poetry, and so forth, which influence students' choices of love, and plastic education”
In addition to the family and school, dinosaurs emphasized that a healthy social environment is itself an education for university students, “through the teaching of the dominant culture of society, the core values of socialism, the promotion of love role models and positive models around them, while at the same time criticizing corrupt and depraved love perceptions as a means of promoting decency and cleaning up the air”
(at the request of the interviewer, the text is pseudonyms, with the exception of qing and wang qian.)
