At the people's university of china, specializing in french language literature and psychology, research interests include classical psychoanalysis, intercultural psychiatry, etc。
It's another year of bachelor's day, and i hear there's gonna be a man holding 100 roses tomorrow, and he says, "please, let go."。
On this special day, ky introduces you to five psychological mechanisms associated with love
The danger moves people: the suspension bridge effect
Why do people always choose to watch horror movies and ride a roller coaster as a “single law”? In addition to showing courage, or wanting to hear lovers scream and fall in their arms, there is some psychological significance. We would say, “concerning is often dangerous”, but it is also moving。
A psychologist, arthur aron, did a famous “strangling bridge experiment”. He conducted a survey of 85 male passers-by on a low bridge and a high suspension bridge, respectively. After the participants completed a questionnaire containing a subject-based overview test (thematic application test: tester tells a story based on a vague picture that projectes its inner world), a pretty assistant showed up and left them her phone number, telling them that they could contact her. The results were very interesting, as the number of men surveyed on the suspension bridge who called their female assistants was significantly higher than the number of other participants, and their little stories were more romantic。
This is explained by the theory of the two-factor theory of emotion: people fall in love more easily than in a safe place on a dangerous suspension bridge, because when they experience a physical change, they look for a reason based on their past experience. When people are in a situation of being “roused up”, it is difficult to determine what causes their physical performance, and thus often gives the wrong attribution, leading to a false perception of their emotions。
The most typical expression is the ease with which love can arise in a frightening situation. Or people think it's love. On the suspension bridge, a person's heart beats and breathes fast because of a dangerous situation, but when there's a target around him, it's easy to interpret his heart beat as an obsession with the person next to him, as is the case for many heroic words: when a beautiful woman was in danger, a man saved her and began a good story。
There are also studies that show that physical fatigue also produces love: people who have experienced longer periods of exercise are more attracted. So if you have someone who wants to be pushed down, it's a good option to run a marathon。
Warming ta with company: knowing
Why is the warm man who makes soup for you when you're sick, who passes the menstruation to buy a warm baby? Sometimes we say "love is with you" and "love" with ta, which is also scientific。
One of the theories of cognitive psychology, known as “mbodied cognition”, is that a person's physical experience affects psychological feelings, such as attitudes, emotions, etc., as a result of the mechanisms of brain interpretation. For example, a smile can really make a smile in your heart; when you listen to a report, you move your head up and down, you move your head, and you tend to accept and approve。
And that's in love, when you really feel like you're comfortable physically, you're getting more comfortable with each other. In one experiment, researchers distributed hot and cold coffee to different subjects on a trial basis and then asked them to evaluate a particular subject. It is easier for those with hot coffee to feel that the interpersonal aspects of the subject are warm and friendly, while those who get cold coffee are the opposite。
This can also explain why exotic love can easily be so silent; if two people are physically together, it can affect psychological intimacy. Sociopsychological experiments have shown that couples who work in the same direction are more happy than couples who work in the same direction. The experiment surveyed hundreds of married workers in the united states and hong kong and found that couples close to work were generally more satisfied with marriage。
So, in the snowy season, a cup of hot chocolate, a walk with ta, is likely to boost each other’s feelings。
Mental partner: the law of attraction
You like french literature, ta loves camus; you like psychoanalytics, and ta has a lot of research on freud. Do you often find that when a person has a high degree of convergence of ideas and interests, he or she has an interest in each other
According to the law of attraction, people like themselves are favoured and the values, attitudes and attractions of partners are directly related. Whether in isolated bomb shelters or at university gatherings, researchers have found that strangers with the same ideas and preferences become more intimate over time. On the one hand, much of what we do is actually to protect our values and dignity, while those who prefer to be like themselves identify themselves side by side; on the other hand, those who are close to themselves can more easily support their views and decisions, which also protects the fragile self-esteem of humankind. The feeling of finding a spiritual partner reduces the psychological distance between people and makes them feel more understanding。
But it is important that you do not come to terms with it, and you can stress the same points, but you cannot deceive each other and be true to yourself. Relations based on lies cannot last. (replies 189 to the public, look at what can't be done if you want to get a good feeling fast)
Life expectancy: exposure
There are people who love at first sight, and there are people who love for so long. In psychology, it's due to the “exposure effects”, as in life, you may find that an object that is not so popular at first becomes more and more easy to look at; in shopping in supermarkets, you're used to choosing things that look familiar。
Psychologist zajonc has experimented with interpersonal appeal and found that people do have a clear preference for familiar things. In other words, the more we see someone, the more pleasant we feel about ta。
In the experiment, he first showed a group of photographs of strangers, some of which appeared more frequently, and asked them to rate them according to their level of affection. As a result, it was found that the higher the scores of strangers who had previously appeared more frequently, the higher the scores of familiar photographs, the higher the number of times they appeared。
In fact, we usually find ourselves in the mirror more beautiful, while others in photographs look worse than they would have been, as a result of exposure。
However, increased familiarity is not applicable in any case. If the sense of good is negative at first, the frequent appearance only increases the level of disgust, so the more they hate you at first sight, the more they try to be futile; and if you remember the number of exposures, it would be boring。
Get used to love. Conditional reflection
When they're together for a long time, we often say that love translates into affection. And at the end of a long period of love, it's hard for you to get used to the old scenes, the things that we do together, are particularly sad。
This can actually be explained by the widely known “classic conditions reflection” experiment. Pavlov, who never recognized himself as a psychologist, built a strong equation of the “ring = food” in the dog's perception by reinforcing the ring before feeding the dog every day, while also creating a strong connection between the neurons in the dog's brain. Since then, once the dog hears the bell, it will be able to distribute saliva autonomously. The longer it lasts, the harder it will be for conditions to recede. If the bell is ringing before the dog is fed for 10 years in a row, it is likely that the dog will spend his whole life at the mercy of the `ring = food' man-made equation. Even when the bell is later called without food, it cannot control its own saliva。
So long-term coexistence can also leave indelible traces of ta's brain. What happens between you, where you've been together, or something that has a special meaning, is a trigger for a common memory. In life, when one of you has access to relevant information, you naturally think of the other. Emotionally, company can lead naturally to attachment. If anything happens or nothing happens, they want to talk or share with each other。
However, the stronger the bond, the more painful it will be. In a long-term and stable relationship, couples have gradually become part of each other's system of interpersonal awareness and have made up for each other's faults; when you lose each other, your memories of each other are no longer complete. (reference to the study on lovelessness can be found in the galaxy breakup guide at 199)
After reading today's article, do you know more about love? And you may have found that there's something hidden in it that we can only help here。
I hope this time next year you're not alone anymore。
Notes:
Zajonc, r. B., 1968No, no, no, no, no.
Going my way.
Williams, l. E., & bargh, j. A., 2008Science, 322, 606-607.
Dutton d. G., aron a. P., 1974I don't know what you're talking aboutNo, no, no, no, no.
You've got to be kidding meI'm sorryNew york, ny, us: holt, linehart & winston.
